– feel a negative emotion
– feel tension or stress
– have an inexplicable negative feeling
– something blocks you from getting into action
Negative emotions are signals telling you that you have been hurt. Somebody is scolding and you feel hurt. You lose your lover to somebody else and you get hurt. You are afraid you won’t pass your exam and upfront you feel the pain of humiliation from the consequences. Nobody wants to feel pain and everybody will try to avoid it as much as possible. Beside we were taught that a person who feels nothing and shows no emotion at all, is powerful and strong. Most powerful persons don ‘t let themselves carry away by their emotions. In other words, there are plenty of reasons to disregard your negative emotions.
But I will ask you to use your negative emotions. I am sure you will feel resistance at once. What we dislike most, I ask you to investigate on a more conscious level.
The key point of the method is the link between self confidence and negative emotions. Every negative emotion is a signal that you are hurt somehow. The pain is telling you that you are under certain conditions or in the vicinity of certain people less capable of functioning properly. This means also that you are not in a position to rely completely on yourself. So when a negative emotion occurs it is telling you that you have less self confidence.
The method aims at this negative emotion. You will be busy to heal your pain and once the pain has cured you will feel stronger and have more confidence in yourself.
You do not need to be an expert in the field of emotions to get more insight in your emotions and thanks to that insight in yourself. Just be alert and pay attention to the way you are handling your emotions. Because feelings can be very treacherous.
I once met a student who wanted to become a teacher at the School for Self-esteem. During the introduction of the course she made clear that she had a lot of self confidence. And during the training sessions she tried to convince us by doing the exercises in a disciplined way. But apparently she was less self confident than she wanted us to belief. At the end of the training day she came to me and accused me furiously of having used her personal life in the used examples. It appeared that her uncertainty had caused this. As I did not know her and did not know anything from her personal life. She was touched by my examples. Blinded by her idea of being self confident she made me a scapegoat instead of examining and learning from her own negative emotions.